29weeks, and counting

So I have to admit, I'm feeling a little better about this pregnancy now that I'm one foot in the third trimester.

Doesn't mean that about half the time I'm still waiting for the other proverbial piece of footwear to plummet to the ground.

For instance: for extenuating reasons, I had to have my shower quite early in my pregnancy (or at least I felt it was early). I therefore had to register earlier than I would have liked (let's face it: I had a couple of anxiety attacks while compiling it, mostly when I clicked "Add to Registry" for the big things like the crib and mattress and carseat, etc.).

And then when this stuff, all of this stuff, started showing up at my door and eventually consumed our small little spare room? Well. Hubby wants to unpack everything. Wants to set stuff up. Me? Not so much. Even now. It's too soon.

So I shut the door to the spare room so I don't have to look at it.

Sure, once in a while, when I'm feeling uber calm, super brave, and delightfully zen, do we head in there and open a box, sort through the clothes and the gift bags, etc. But then, sitting in what will be her room, I will eventually think, without fail: fuck. Look at all of this stuff. What are we going to do if she dies? if she doesn't come home with us? Look at all of this stuff we'll have to remind us.

And it makes me sad. My miscarriage totally robbed me of the ability to 100% enjoy this pregnancy. I should be blissfully happy, out shopping daily for her, nursery all set up already.

Anyway.

The prenatal classes continue; last week was the hospital tour, so our guide did most of the talking - which was nice, there was minimal amounts of 'stupid' going on in the room because of it. But still with the fucking iPhones. Grr.