The things we will do.

To get pregnant, that is.

Today I had to fill my old-lady pill dispenser thingy - you know, the ones that separate your medications into conveniently marked days, and if you're going all out, AM and PM too?

I bought mine in a pretty pink when my husband and I first started trying for a baby. I wanted to make sure I never forgot to take my prenatal, and all the rest of the vitamins a good pregnant  woman should take.

Well, the lettering is completely warn off the front of each little compartment - that's how long we've been trying. That's how long I've been taking these stupid vitamins and sticking to this stupid regiment for.

And what do I take? What don't I take, is the question.

Vitamin B50 Complex
Vitamin C
Vitamin D
Vitamin E
Flaxseed Oil
Calcium
Prenatal
Folic Acid
EPO
Co-enzyme Q10

I'm a walking frickin' pharmacy.

But that's the thing - these are the lengths that one goes to to get pregnant. It doesn't stop there - I've eliminated all artificial sugars and caffeine from my diet; I go to acupuncture, massage and practice yoga to feel more, 'zen'; I make sure not to eat too much of some veggies and more of others; I drink water to the point where I can't sleep more than 4 hours in a row anymore. I read books. I do research.

I just want to be pregnant.

So it hurts me to my core to hear others complain about being pregnant. To my very soul. One of my good friends, who knows about all of our struggles went on today for a good 5 minutes about how horrible it was that she couldn't take anything for her cold and how sick she feels and all she can take are cough drops now that she's pregnant... I felt like telling her, well, at least you're pregnant.

Or how another friend has been complaining about how big she is and how uncomfortable she is and how she just wishes that the pregnancy would be over 'cause she's just done with it all.... Are you serious? You're complaining about this to me?

And then I started to think - will I forget about how hard it was to get 'there' if I ever get there? Will I be whining about morning sickness and big boobs and huge bellies and zero sleep care of a small bladder?

I guess what they say may be true - 'never say never'?

I tells ya though - if there's anyone reading this - feel free to give me a virtual slap up the side of the head if I ever do any of the above. I'll welcome it. Sometimes we all need a push back to humility.

I just really hope that this actually happens for us one day - I'd hate to think all of these stupid vitamins I've been taking all these years were in vain.