I hate avoiding.

Avoiding SUCKS.

Well, as usual, my ovulation date has come and gone. My poor little egg wasted.

Our clinic has told us to 'be careful' (read: don't get pregnant again before your IVF cycle - it'll just screw everything up again).

I've waited months for my husband to come home from work so that we can be in the same room, let alone spend any 'quality' time together. It's just frustrating - it feels as though yet again we're treading water, not allowed to move forward in this shit journey. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Thank goodness it's a new year. A new start. I just have to hope that I'll be pregnant by the end of it; better yet, have a baby in my arms to hold. But I'm not picky. Really.

I'm still waiting to hear back from my case nurse; she was going to try and talk my doc into cancelling the second hysteroscopy; I have a feeling though that my chart won't pass his desk until I call in my day 1 - which by my calculations is 10 days to two weeks from now. [insert sigh here]

As for our current living situation: we're seriously considering a major move if his contract gets extended. We'd fly back and forth for our treatments, hopefully I would be able to take leave from my job, and our home would sell quickly.

We've been thinking about selling our home more and more lately. The equity tied up in it would surely help in the IVF department. We'd be able to do several cycles, but at the same time be spending our life savings.

Infertility sucks.

Happy freakin' New Year.

ETA: My clinic called yesterday (just checked my messages) and I'm booked in for another post-op re-check ultrasound of my left ovary. I guess it's something to look forward to. No word on the scope, though. Now I'm thinking they'll wait to talk to me about it in person. Fark.