Disappointing news.

So I managed to talk to my case nurse for 5 minutes today before my hubby had to go off to get off. haa haa haa. Bad sperm joke. No, really, he gave his contribution (and he thinks he did a good job of it) so now we have (hopefully!) millions of frosties just begging to be used...

The disappointing news? Well. Where do I start. We're waiting, yet again.

Game plan:

1. Wait for my betas to return to zero
2. I then have to wait for 2-3 'normal' periods/cycles
3. During that time, I have to 

•  Have a hysteroscopy
•  (Possibly) another HSG - hysterosalpingiogram
•  Meet with my RE to determine a protocol
•  Have an antral follicle count (AFC) done again

 So, I knew what her final say was going to be before it was even out of her mouth. Ultimately, we have to wait until January. There's a slight chance of starting my supressions in December, but it would depend on my 'calendar' (i.e. what stage of my cycle I'll be in and whether the timing will correspond).

 

I feel defeated by my own body. It's not the clinic's fault I have to wait - they're just covering all bases. They want to make sure I will have the optimal chance of a pregnancy occuring, and they want me at ground zero for a while before we do anything. I know that. In my head I know that's best, but in my heart it hurts.

I've been trying to have a baby since March of 2008.

I just want my baby. I want my *chance* at a baby. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left in the dust. I know it's ridiculous, it is.

I just want my baby.