Toxic GAS that is.
Ya, that's right. It's gonna be one of those posts. TMI. Here we go.
Ever since I had to start taking the 'water soluble fibre supplements' to counteract the constipation I'm getting from the progesterone suppositories, I have gas.
Now - this is no ordinary type of gas. I can honestly say that I have never in all my life, in all of the bean-burritto, asparagus, turkey - containing meals have I ever had gas like this. Never.
It's so bad that the other night Mr. Buggy got so upset with me as we were laying in bed reading he threatened to divorce me if I let another one blow.
First fart: dog jumps off of the bed, moves to the furthest corner of the room. You could see it in his eyes; "Jesus, mum, what crawled up your arse?"
Second fart: Mr. Buggy starts gagging. Literally. He rips open the slider in the bedroom in an attempt to air the room out and prevent permanent damage to his burning nostrils and throat. Futile attempt, of course.
Third fart: I start gagging. Dog commences Emergency Evacuation Procedure: Scratch At Door (pretty bad when even the dog is thinking "get me the fuck outta here")
Mr. Buggy got mad. Like it's my fault that my bowels are so bloated with nuclear-strength tear gas. Ugh - so I told him that my 12 grade Bio teacher told us it wasn't good for you to hold your farts in. Let'em rip. Then I tried to explain to him the relief in my abdomen that I felt every time I de-compressed just a little more.
Maybe the fact that I was making these excuses while laughing so hard I was crying was what pissed him off. Oh - and the fact that as I explained myself I continued to let SBD*'s go. hehe.
*SBD = Silent But Deadly. The best kind of farts.
Posts
7 comments on "7dp5dET ... (12DPO) ... Toxic"
LMAO!! Thanks for the barrel rolling laugh this morning Buggy!!
Ugh. Sorry it's so bad. But I just about spit out my soup reading this. In my office. (people must think I'm nuts)
LOL! I just laughed my ass off! That was priceless!
Thank you for making light of something we all have but are afraid to admit to.
Gas and digestion has become a real bain of mine. Could we be any more sexy?! Plus, I have green leakage coming out of my hoo-ha.
Thanks for the laugh!
MissC
Ok Buggy, you know it's bad when the DOG has to leave the room. Because dogs have the most revolting gas ever (other than you,apparently :-P )
Thanks for the laugh on a day when I really needed one!
Oh this made my laugh loudly, I am stinkiestbum in this flat.
You should bottle them and sell them to people who want to get rid of someone in their personal space!
Oh wow... that was freaking hilarious!!! :-D
Thank You!!! That is so funny. At least you didn't start to pee while laughing and passing wind!
BTW I totally understand (TMI here) I get wicked gas when I am on Metformin. Hubby says "Gas Masks UP!" and does a warning sound, lol.
Thanks for making me LOL :D
Post a Comment