Give me strength!

Do you have the time, to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.
- Green Day -  Basket Case

I'm seriously starting to HATE being out in public. Honest to god.

Today we had a showing of our home. So we had to pack everything up and head out. No problem.

Decide to go for dinner to a local restaurant. Arrive at about 545p, so it's still relatively early for the dinner crowd.

Then the noisiest mother fucker sits down at the table next, with his 5 (yes, FIVE) equally as noisy children and his wife.

We had just ordered dinner. I'm thinking in my head - this should be good. Hubby is in a RIGHT mood and about ready to rip pretty much anyone's head off and shite in the hole.

The man proceeds to talk bellow with this deep baratone of a voice, trying to apply logic to a conversation with (what I approximated to be) a 3 year old. In the meantime, the wife gets up and goes to the bathroom. The baby in the highchair starts screaming it's nut off. The 5 and 6 year old start running up and down the pathway between tables at high speed.

It gets better.

Mom comes back from the bathroom. My hubby says to me, "I can't STAND loud talkers. Like, WTF? Why the hell does someone need to talk so loud?"

Man at the other table obviously hears this and all of the sudden becomes more quiet.

In walks family #2. 1 year old twins and about a 5 year old? Ya.

Dinner arrives.

It's now so loud in the restaurant that Mr. Buggy can't hear half of what I'm saying, so he's constantly having to say 'pardon?' 'what?'

The vein in his neck starts to throb at an alarming rate. His normally very pale white skin is becoming crimson red in hue. I think to myself: uh oh. He's going to blow a fucking gasket.

In walks family #3. No joke. We are fucking surrounded now. It's as if our life's a boardgame of Risk, and some fucker has strategically placed our most evil, wicked enemies in a formation so close to us that we have no choice but to surrender.

Said family has 2 little girls. Very NOISY little girls. Probably about 5 or 6?

It's at this point that my hubs gets up sharply from the table and tromps off to the bathroom. He comes back and without sheltering his voice tells me that despite the sounds of pissing into a urinal and the blaring music in the bathroom, he could still hear the kids from family #3 screaming.

I'm going into damage control mode now. We gotta get outta there before he makes a scene. Yikes.

As I'm wisking him out the door, I'm saying to him, you know what? People can come in and request a certain area of the restaurant or a table and not a booth when they're trying to accomodate their kids. The next time I go into a restaurant, honest to god, I'm going to request that we not be seated around children. I don't think that's too much to ask. I'm paying good money to eat at your establishment, I want to eat in peace.

Reading this back, I now feel a little old, and a little crotchety. Fuck it.