Ready for May to be over

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
-Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars

This week marked the one year anniversary of my first and only positive pregnancy test.

It sucked.

We're busy right now listing our home and finalizing reno projects, getting ready for showings, and scouting out our competition and covertly traipsing through their houses for 'showings'. We want to see what we're up against, and we want to make sure our pricing is right.

Sneaky? Yes. Smart? I'm gonna say: YUP!

I think it's a good thing that we've got so much on our plates right now. Everything on our HUGE to-do list is keeping us busy; but at the same time, we're sad. We're both sad.

Mother's Day was absolutely brutal. BRUTAL. Not only did we not have a little one to hold that horrid day, it was my husband's first M.D. without his mum. That in itself is heartbreaking.

I know that we'll celebrate the anniversary of our loss in the city we're moving to, searching for a new home to lay our heads in every night. We'll be tourists; shopping and enjoying the sites. Eating great food, meeting new people.

Doesn't mean that it's going to suck any less.

But through it all, I am so very thankful for a wonderful husband who goes out of his way to make my life less stressful. His poor hands are cracked and bleeding from scrubbing floors, walls, and tile surrounds with bleach*; his back is killing him from the hours of pressure-washing he's had to do in the last few weeks; he tries to keep up on the laundry**, and every evening I awake to dinner baking in the oven, a hug, and a smile on his face.

God, I love this man. Thank you for sending him to me. Thank you for giving him the gift of being able to keep me sane. Thank you for making him love me.

And to my Mammie, looking down on us from heaven: I love you. Thank you for creating such a wonderful being.

* I asked him why he didn't wear gloves; men don't wear gloves.
** proof positive are the used-to-be-white socks that are now different shades of other muted colours